i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
