Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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