I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
