my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
there is puke in my bra ... again
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