The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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