Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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