my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
