We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
