We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
