What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
