I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
