Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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