That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
