Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
