I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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