i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Sorry my hands just texted you
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
