you would pick up someone in the library
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
