words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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