I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just pee around me
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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