My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
