don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
