it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize
