The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
