while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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