Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
