Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
