It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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