how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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