Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
