I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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