No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
