This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize