Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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