Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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