I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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