What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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