i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
