Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
