So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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