Where is the hickey?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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