I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
