No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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