walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
