A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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