After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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