she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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