Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
