you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
