Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
