i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
NoShamevember. You game?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I need to calm my uterus...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
