Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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