I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
