now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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