There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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