I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize