She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
