listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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