omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
