I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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