Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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