I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
