that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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