The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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