if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
