So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
