So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
