Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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