Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
