Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
