I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
